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15 Programming Jokes to crack you up

Sometimes even a trivial query takes prolonged sessions of brain storming to figure out the bug in programming. Such puerile incidents never fail to amuse the programmers. Put together here are 15 programming jokes that would definitely make your day. Programming   Note: BewareHighly Programmer rated Content! Not Suitable for audience with no basic programming knowledge.   Funny Programming Song: 99 little bugs in the code 99 bugs in the code patch one down, compile it around 117 bugs in the code!! 15 Programming Jokes to crack you up   The Happy Syntax Error song ___________________________________________________________________________________ A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"* "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault." ___________________________________________________________________________________ Every programmer keeps two glasses at their bedside table before going to sleep. One full of water, in case they get thirsty and the other one empty, in case they don’t. 15 Programming Jokes to crack you up ___________________________________________________________________________________ There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke. ___________________________________________________________________________________ Once a programmer was heading out to the grocery store and his wife told him to get a gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs if they had any. He returned with 13 gallons of milk. ___________________________________________________________________________________ "It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter." - Nathaniel Borenstein ___________________________________________________________________________________ A manager, a mechanical engineer, and software analyst are driving back from convention through the mountains. Suddenly, as they crest a hill, the brakes of the car fail and they fly careening down the mountain. After scraping against numerous guardrails, they come to a stop in the ditch. Everyone gets out of the car to assess the damage. The manager says, "Let's form a group to collaborate ideas on how we can solve this issue." The mechanical engineer suggests, "We should disassemble the car and analyze each part for failure." The software analyst says, "Let's push it back up the hill and see if it does it again." ___________________________________________________________________________________ Once C wrote something on the wall and pointed towards it while saying "Do you get the reference?" But Java didn't. Why does C get the chicks all the time and Java doesn't? Because C doesn’t treat them as objects. 15 Programming Jokes to crack you up ___________________________________________________________________________________ Q: How many programmers does it take to fix a light bulb? A: None. Because it's a hardware problem. ___________________________________________________________________________________ A programmer was told to "go to hell", he found the part "go to" quite offensive! ___________________________________________________________________________________ Why do programmers confuse halloween and christmas? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25. ___________________________________________________________________________________ Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB. ___________________________________________________________________________________ Why do Java programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#! (because they don't see sharp) ___________________________________________________________________________________ Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use threads." Now they have two problems. 15 Programming Jokes to crack you up ___________________________________________________________________________________ The 2 hardest problems in computer science are: caching, naming, and off-by-1 errors.
12/02/2014
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